Saying, "I love you," has never come naturally to me. Not until I became a Mom was I able to easily initiate or reciprocate it verbally without feeling awkward. Even now, I struggle saying it to anyone but the four of you and Jared/Daddy. It's not that I don't love other people; it's just hard. I don't know why it's an issue for me. What I do know though is that making and sharing food is how I show my love. As a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP), I like to joke that food is my Expressive Love Language (I say joke but in actuality it is true). In fact, because of food and feeding others being so important to me, I directed my career as an SLP to the scope of being a Feeding Specialist. 

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I haven't always been a foodie, (although Papa and Booma might say otherwise when they tease me about a time I made a Fruit Cocktail Meatloaf as a kid) but my journey to becoming one is sort of interesting (I think). When I was a kid, I wanted to be a lawyer or veterinarian. I loved to debate, and I loved animals (still do). In high school, I became obsessed with language (still am). I took German and French in High School and had plans of attending Oregon State University (OSU) to major in International Studies with a minor in European Languages. For some reason that I still don't understand myself though, midway through my senior year, I decided Fashion Design would be a better career choice (spoiler alert: it wasn't). I ditched my plans of attending OSU and moved to Los Angeles to attend The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising. Simply put, I hated it. Being expected to dress a certain way, act a certain way, and design a certain way, took the joy out of something I thought I loved. However, I had some incredibly fun times living in the city, and I made some wonderful friends. I also learned how to cook. I got a job at Bed Bath and Beyond in Studio City where celebrities would come in and shop like regular people, including celebrity chef, Emeril Lagasse. While working there, I began to learn about cookware, cutlery, and specialty kitchen items which sparked my interest. I started watching Food Network during my down time, and that's where my love of cooking and food really began. After that, I was a manager at Williams-Sonoma where I was always surrounded my food and my love for teaching the culinary arts and sharing my food truly began.

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Since then, my love for food, and my skills with cooking and baking have consistently grown, with no sign of slowing down. For years now, my friends have been telling me that I should open up a food cart, but the thought of it hasn't really interested me. One of my dreams, even before I became an SLP, has been to open a small, limited and seasonal small-bites cafe/bookstore where my love of language, literature, and food could harmoniously coexist, but that hasn't been in the playing cards so far. Another one of my food-related dreams is to publish a series of children's picture books meant to inspire the exploration of trying new foods and to encourage communication and connection between families throughout mealtime experiences. Maybe someday, you boys will see it on bookstore bookshelves or featured on Amazon. At the very minimum, it will be a resource for the many families I serve who struggle with sharing meals with their kiddos. 

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So why am I writing all of this to you?  Why this blog? Well... I want you to know the story of how deep food runs through my veins and the important role it has played in our family. When it was just you three big boys and I, when times were challenging, and we struggled with money as I attended grad school and worked as a single mom, I always tried to keep meals and mealtimes special for us, so that you wouldn't feel the struggle and would always want to come home. I want all four of you to understand, even if just a little, how when we sit down at the dinner table and I say, "I made this with a whole lot of love," I really mean it, as cheesy as it sounds. I want you to have a place you can always return to to access recipes and stories of the foods you grew up loving, and new ones you were excited about. I don't want you to forget the important role that food has played in our lives-even if you don't realize it does now. Since the time you could sit on the counter or stand on a stool, you've been helping me in the kitchen. Colton, your time will come. Maddox, so will yours (juuuuust kidding, you are excellent at trimming the green beans). Bryton and Jonas, your helping me in the kitchen has turned into a love of cooking and baking for yourselves. I love to watch you hone your craft and taste your foods.

 

I write this blog, these recipes, for the four of you. There aren't any long-winded stories, step by step pictures, or calorie counts to accompany the recipes as you see in most cooking blogs, but there is certainly, without a shadow of a doubt, just as I do in my cooking for you, a whole lotta love. 

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I hope this blog will someday bring you back to times you may have otherwise forgotten, and that the recipes will make you feel like you're home, no matter where you are, even long after I'm gone. 

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You boys are my heart.